Why the hell am I still alive?..Merry X-mas

For some reason I thought of this today while I was moving snow... I should be dead, after thinking of all the shit that I did as a kid it is completely amazing that I am alive and have both of my eyes.

For the first example, my grandparents had a house along the river here in Wavetown and it had a huge ass hill, even by my grown-up everything seems small life now. Anyway sledding down this hill was the best however this one time (not at band camp) I was heading in the wrong direction. For whatever reason I decided to stay on heading right into their pine wood fence. I can remember it perfectly, I rolled out of the sled, no ordinary sled however this mother was the fastest and still is. As I was saying I rolled out and felt like my face was gone yelling at my brother to go get g-ma I though I was dying, and if it wasn't for g-ma's loving care I know I would have. turns out all I had was a cut though.

The next example that I can remeber Would have to be the BB gun wars that I would have with one of my brothers in my other g-ma's basement. I was probably 11 and he was probably 9? all we would do is shoot at each other. If you are reading this G-ma I am sorry for the thousands of canned green bean jars that stepped into the line of fire.

This one has to be the most dangerous though growing up we had go-karts, mini-bikes, and dirt bikes. This one involves the go-kart to my recolection there are only a couple witnesses. I was on the go-kart and we got rid of our horses, however we decided to put a kart track inside the fortress of hell also known as barb wire fencing, why? I don't know. Anyway going through turn 2 at about 80 mph (jk) I flipped and ended up in the barb wire however for some reason didn't even get a scratch!

And By the way everyone have a fun, safe, and joyous Chirstmas! Or to be more PC, Happy Holidays!

My prayers have been answered!

After waking up this morning, having the strange feeling that something was missing in my life I decided to watch some TV.

While watching, (regretfully) 100 Most Unexpected TV Moments on TV Land, I found it then and there the thing that I so desperately needed to complete life as I know it was right in front of my eyes. I bet you are asking yourself what I saw. Well let me tell you it was one of the greatest commercials of all time. There right in front of me was George and he was at it again!

While I was watching this commercial I was saying no…no… how can someone improve upon the George Forman grill? Little did I know all you had to do was make sure you could cook waffles on it! Not only that but it has interchangeable plates! One for waffles, steak, and a grill plate, and it bakes! Now at this time I am sure you are saying holy shit George! I know I was, I mean come on how can he possibly knock the fat out of a waffle? All I can say is Ron Popeil had better watch the Fu*k out because there is a train coming and George is the conductor.

The only question I have is how does the waffle batter not drip out?

Awwwww Shit...

All you can say to something like this...is ooops.

It all started one Sunday Evening around 7:55pm. It was cold and if I had to guess it was about 2 degrees above zero +/- a degree. Anyway I parked my car on a somewhat downward slope come to find out I was stuck. Deciding the only way to get my beauty out was to pull it, my little brother and I hooked a chain to my car and my mothers Hummer. Seeing that you could not pull out a fairly low riding car with the equivalent of a monster truck we switched the Hummer for my other brothers S-10 truck worked great until I heard a fairly loud crunch.

Luckily the only damage to the car was the entire bumper cover, it shattered like glass being so cold. Anyway I have no idea how it happened and whats done is done. Now to find some parts and get the car fixed...

Weird Eats...

Throughout my life I have seen people try, and have tried many different food concoctions. When I worked as a bartender at a local sports bar I saw a lot of weird things put together. The only question I have is how does one figure out that two completely different foods put together will be good?

For instance, I have a friend that puts crunchy Cheetos on his peanut butter sandwich. Which when you think about it isn't that weird, I am sure it tastes like those little cheese crackers with peanut between them. I have found out that Cottage Cheese topped with a sprinkling of sugar is awesome! Believe me you get some looks for that, however it is a lot better than a friend I have that mixes cottage cheese with Ketchup!

There are also some foods that I eat that people think are disgusting, such as Pickled herring, sushi and Chicken gizzards. But you have to think that there is always worse some of those Asian cuisines can be a little out there by anyone’s standards...

What are some of the Weird Eats you have?
Everyone have a great weekend...