Why one might think that I am gay...but not really

First of all let’s get the biggest one out of the way... I thought that The Notebook was a good movie. The big problem I have with this one is that my ex-girlfriend didn't even want to see it, however all of my friends (guys) that "had" to see it thought it wasn't that bad so that sparked my interest. Second the main actress is drop dead gorgeous, and by that I don't mean your run of the mill drop dead gorgeous, I mean that times 10000 (I am starting to think that I have an addiction to red heads but we will talk about that at a later date and time.

The second reason one might think that I am gay is I have a bathroom full of things that might not fit in the ordinary guys bathroom. For instance, I will start off with the astringent what a great product! A product full of alcohol that you cannot drink, that’s ggggggreatt! It doesn't stop there I also have a microwaveable wax that does a great job of controlling the eyebrow problem. And by problem I do not under any circumstance want any of you to think that I have a uni-brow I just need to tame some loose hair. I also have this thing that most people call a loofa (sp) all I can say to that is WTF, won’t a wash cloth work?... NO because you have to wash a washcloth a loofa stays there it is always ready. I also have not one, but two different types of shampoo I alternate I don’t know why…

And finally, I need to start this one off with an introduction about my apartment, IT IS BY FAR THE MANLIEST PLACE TO LIVE. That being said, I have somewhat of a flower garden on my deck right next to the pool table in my great manly apartment I didn’t start it I just take care of it.

Think what you will I have never been mistaken for being gay. Any thoughts, I am open to any criticism?

You have died of Disentery

Checking out Chadley's blog this afternoon reminded me of all the video games I have played over the years. I then tried to recall what game popped my gamers cherry. To the best of my knowledge it is either Super Mario Brothers on the old Nintendo Entertainment System, or Oregon Trail on the Apple II. Both of these games are arguably some of the best games ever made, and Oregon Trail was probably a game that can be considered ahead of its time. Oregon Trail is one of the first games that could have a different out come every time you played it, a “choose your own adventure” of games if you will. Oregon Trail was a very enjoyable game to play except every time I would ford the river I would loose at the very least 2 people because for some reason they could not swim in 5 feet of water. As I consider this to be a great game I still think there were some flaws, or glitches that could have been fixed.

Gaming of today has changed quite a bit from the beginning f gaming that I know of. Today there are things like Xbox Live that unites tens of thousands of people together with similar interests, namely killing. However as fun as the new games, and systems are I occasionally find myself bringing out the old NES for some Mario action, and why not? Is it not about knowing where you came from? What gave you this “bug” that is so hard to get rid of.

Video games have been around in some form for at least 25-30 years, giving it a huge following. However I have yet to find a person over the age of 40 that is in fact a gamer. A video game to a person of this era consists of two floating bars on either side of the screen, with one single blip that bounced back and forth…AKA…Pong. To that I must say WTF, give Rainbow Six a try...

Shoes and women...

Shoes and women... Think about that for a second there is nothing that even comes close to that relationship in a mans life (to my knowledge). A woman has a pair of shoes for every possible outfit that she might wear, and if she doesn't she will buy a new pair. Am I missing something here? I have gone through life with at the most five different pairs of shoes, black dress, brown dress, a running shoe, sandals, and whatever else. Above all I have never even thought do these shoes go with...? However a woman will have 18 pair of black shoes each that she might have only wore once, and if she wears that outfit again she will have to buy a new, different pair. And it goes without saying if a woman buys a new outfit, the shoe store is the next spot to go. I hold these truths to self-evident that all black shoes are created equal and can be worn again.

I recently became single again after a four year relationship with a great woman, my best estimate is that she had 18,098 diffent pairs of shoes, three closets full to be exact. It was an addiction at its worst consider this for example: her favorite "everyday" shoe was some kind of Addidas running shoe. Now I was thinking to myself great she found a pair she really likes I won't have to put away 10 different pairs every day (she changed shoes alot). However it turned out to be quite a different story after finding this great shoe she bought every god damn color of that shoe they made, and on top of that had matching shoe laces for each! Giving the old phrase "If the shoe fits" a whole new meaning. To her If the shoe fits, buy it! must have been the way to shop. What is the deal?

Mr. Pimp

I am in no way a pimp, however for the last three years on the back of my credit card I have had Mr Pimp written in where one would normally sign their name. It has always been a converstaion starter when I use it to pay for stuff. However the other day I had to go up to Minnesota to get the jet-skis out of the water and I needed I rockstar quite badly as I went to bed at 4:00am and was on the road by 8:00 anyway I digress... The cabin is in Waterville MN, a little podunk town with not much to offer. I hand this guy my credit card and he asks for I.D. Thinking this was no problem I gladly give it to him and the little fucker would not let me buy anything because my last name wasn't Pimp. I about fell over, honestly doesn't anyone have a sense of humor anymore?